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Liar, liar pants on fire

Dear Acaricia May

I am planning to give my boyfriend a little gift for his birthday. I have always felt my bust is too small for him, buy and I am going to get a breast enhancement done. My problem is that I am not sure whether he will like my new more curvy self or whether he’ll be turned off by the ‘artificial’ improvement. If I ask him directly then there is no fun in the surprise. If he gets angry or disgusted with my new larger bust, then I could lose his love. How should I decide?

Charlotte, try Panjim

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Dear Charlotte,

You ever hear of that little thing called inner beauty? Is it possible your boyfriend likes you just the way you are, as Billy Joel sings? Would you be getting these bigger boobs just to make him happy, or is it something you want as well? I’m sorry to answer your question with so many new questions, but surgery is a big deal and I don’t recommend it be taken lightly, like some kind of haircut or pedicure. There will be blood. There will be stitches. And there’s something called a recovery period. So it’s not like you’ll go in for cosmetic surgery in the morning, and then at lunch time pop on over to lover boy’s pad, stick your chest in his face and shout out, “Surprise!” Look Charlotte, I’m not telling you not to do it. I’m telling you to think about it before acting. By the way, there’s a lot of ways you can look curvier and sexier without cosmetic surgery. You can improve your posture through exercise and a healthy diet. Or walk around with a book on your head, so that your bust goes forward, your bum looks more pert and your belly flattens out. You can find special innerwear that can give you better cleavage. Soon you may find yourself walking like Kristy Turlington on the catwalk! And you won’t feel like a boob, for having dished out lakhs of rupees for an extra inch upstairs.

Love,

Acaricia May

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Dear Acaricia May

My husband is very loving and lots of fun. But he has a strange side to him. He lies a lot. Not big great lies, he is no criminal, never broken the law, other than driving down the wrong side of a one-way road. He lies over small things and seems to enjoy it. Even if I catch him he doesn’t stop this habit. I’m worried this could lead to bigger lies and even him being unfaithful or worse. What do you think?

Shania, Ponda

 

Dear Shania

There are so many reasons for lying. Don’t you lie sometimes? Sometimes we lie to make ourselves look better, or to embellish what otherwise could be a pretty boring story. Which sounds better – “I went fishing but didn’t catch anything” or “I went fishing and caught what appears to be the largest fish ever spotted in the Arabian Sea, to the point where it pulled the boat over 200 kilometers to the coast of Maharashtra”? You get my point, Shania? Pretty harmless, no?

Now let’s take the same example and add two extra sentences. “I went fishing and caught what appears to be the largest fish ever spotted in the Arabian Sea, to the point where it pulled the boat over 200 kilometers to the coast of Maharashtra. That is why you didn’t see me these past three days. A fish pulled me to another state.” Now we’re getting into some worrisome territory. So you see, Shania, there are two kinds of lying: harmless and harmful. For your sake and his, I hope hubbie man’s habit falls into the former category.

Love,

Acaricia May

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