Dear Acaricia May, recipe
my problem is simple. I hate my husband. I don’t like the way he looks, talks, eats, sleeps, behaves or anything else about him. I suppose there was a time a million years ago when I loved him. But that might as well have been a different life time. It’s not that he’s a terrible person. He’s not. It’s just that I can’t stand him. Our children are now grown and now I wonder if I should just leave. On the other hand, that’s easier said than done. What do you think I should do?
Margarida, Panjim
Dear Margarida,
Wow Margarida. I guess you really don’t like the guy. If you truly mean what you say, your choices are to leave or find ways to make your life with him good – maybe a change of scenery or an outdoor activity or a new arrangement wherein you spend 11 months of the year in a different city. Whatever you decide, dear Margarida, it is my belief that because our time on this earth is so finite, it does not make sense to spend it unhappily. It’s not that I’m insisting that the Western-oriented value of personal satisfaction should take precedence over the Eastern emphasis on familial obligation. What I’m saying is that a life well lived is important, and I think you should be sure to live yours well.
Love,
Acaricia May
Dear Acaricia May,
I’m very embarrassed to admit this but I have a thing for lady’s undergarments. I mean I like them not just when ladies wear them but I like to put them on myself. I’m straight and I have a girlfriend I’m very serious about. It’s just that when I put on this stuff I get turned on for some reason. I’m wondering if there’s something wrong with me or if I should be worried. I haven’t told my girlfriend or anyone else about it.
William (not my real name), Ponda (not my real city)
Dear William,
There could be many reasons why you like to wear these garments. Some men, even straight ones, have a feminine side – an inner woman, if you will – that leads them to cross dress. Others wear lady’s undergarments because they have a fetish. You see William, we humans are complex creatures and there are a multitude of factors that go into what turns us on, from early childhood exposures (no pun intended) to genes to our particular mood at any given moment. You don’t need to feel ashamed or bad. One thing I will say, though. Keeping secrets in a committed relationship can be tricky. So you’ll have to decide whether you think you can share this with your girlfriend. If you do, be prepared for her not to accept it. And if she doesn’t, it could be a blessing in disguise, freeing you to find someone who is able to accept every part of you. Good luck!
Love,
Acaricia May
