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His ‘Crazy Family’

Acaricia May describes how all of us won the lottery


Dear Acaricia May, search

I’m 22 years old, remedy doing my MBA after having graduated as an engineer. I’ve really struggled through my college years because I wasn’t really a good student, order but I’ve managed to get by so far. Before I did my MBA, I worked for two years to get some industry experience. I’m finding MBA hard to do, but my father has paid a lot of money for the fees and I can’t now back out and let all that go waste. My father is retired, but re-employed. Much of his savings have gone into my education so I have to earn it back. Taking an education loan wasn’t feasible because my academic record wasn’t good enough. And I hadn’t imagined that I wouldn’t be able to cope with the course. That’s not my only problem. My mother and elder brother are psychiatric patients, both on medication. She talks incessantly and is very illogical. He is totally unsocial, very slow and rarely moves out of the bedroom. Home is hell. Now here’s the big thing with me. I have a girlfriend who I really like and I made the mistake of taking her to my house. She told her parents about our situation and they are now pressurizing her not to associate with me or my ‘crazy’ family. So now I’m feeling really bad about not being able to help my father, and really bad about possibly losing my girlfriend. I’m so confused. I want peace of mind, a steady future, a life of my own with my girl by my side. At the same time, I don’t want to abandon my family. What do you think I should do?

Jackson (not my real name), Vasco


Dear Jackson,

Let’s start with your girlfriend. If you are serious about each other and your relationship works, all the extra baggage in the world need not matter. Have you ever heard the phrase ‘love conquers all’? If she is able to withstand the pressure of her family and stay by your side, then you will know that you have found yourself a very special woman indeed. If, on the other hand, she abandons you at her family’s behest, perhaps this is a sign that she is not the right one for you. You are an individual in the world who deserves to be happy, Jackson. Be good to your girlfriend and let her know how much she means to you. As for the other issues, none of us can be expected to do any more than our best. Are you doing yours? Are these pressures and issues, from your mother to your brother to your father to your girlfriend, perhaps interfering with your ability to focus on your studies? Take a deep breath, Jackson, and focus on what needs to be done. Rather than seeing the whole mountain you must climb, concentrate on each step upward. You know what you have to do better than I do. Take it slowly. Stay calm and focused. Love all those who love you. Understand how very precious life is, regardless of the challenges it throws our way. Did you ever stop to think, Jackson, that at the instant you were conceived  22 years ago, some 250 million sperm were released – more than the population of Germany, France, Thailand and Argentina, combined? Only one made it into the egg, and the result was you! What I’m saying, Jackson, is that your existence, like that of every other human being on earth, is akin to having won the lottery.  Study, love, work, focus, enjoy… Don’t squander your time on this planet. Live it well!



Acaricia May


If you have questions about sex, relationships or any other matter relating to the heart, please write to Acaricia May at