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10 Libido Killers

Excellent Avenues for Destroying Your Love Life

When was the last time you got intimate with your partner? Was it before the dawn of the new millennium, or perhaps prior to the Goan liberation? What could be the reason?  You have settled down with your boyfriend of three years and have a one-year old baby girl. Sex doesn’t exactly feature on your list of top priorities. Or are those long hours at work, weight issues, mood swings, heavy boozing, pills, chronic illness or disability, familial dysfunction, strained finances, advancing age or insomnia acting as sex-drive stoppers? Don’t be a victim to such sex-spoilers, all you would-be Casanovas and Femme Fatales out there! Dr. Charlane Pereira e Rebello enlightens couples, young and old about the libido killers that could rob you of big Os and Ahs…

Stress and depression

Feeling low, sad and desperate? Stressed due to family tensions, financial crisis, raising three kids, and running a home? Don’t let your worries and anxieties interfere with the intimate moments with your partner. Do you need some stress relievers? Try yoga. Join some art class or photography course. Go for cookery workshops if you love to experiment with food. Don’t let your stress levels escalate into depression. Schedule an appointment with your shrink if your stress is interfering with your daily functioning.


Do you work long hours? No ‘me time’ and ‘no family time’? Are you so busy that your spouse often complains about your hectic schedule and workaholic nature? Late hours are an everyday norm. All that you want to do after a long day’s work is gulp down your dinner and jump into bed. Sleep! Sleep! Sleep! Strike a proper balance between work and family. Mentally tune yourself off from work when you are at home. Put your cell phone on silent mode or even better, switch off that stupid device that belts out the Samsung Theme Song just as you’re getting into the co-chi-coo mood.



What’s weight got to do with it? A lot, if you weigh a hefty 90 kgs and find it impossible to try out all those Kamasutra positions you read about on Google. In addition, you may not feel desirable and wanted by your honey bunny. Don’t fear! Feel beautiful inside. A healthy diet plan and exercise regimen can sort out your weight issues. Lose a few kilos for starters! Go for brisk walks! Join Zumba class. Stimulate your sex hormones. Work your way to a sexy sizzle.



Do you have a 7-month-old baby that you are breastfeeding? Your partner may want to make love to you on one of those relaxing weekends. Remember, it is normal to have a reduced sex drive after birth. The hormonal changes in your body, sleepless nights, postpartum blues, breastfeeding all lead to diminished sex drive. Explain to your husband if he complains of your loss of interest in sex. And if that doesn’t work, you can remind him of the famous Woody Allen line, “I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.”



It is a common belief that alcohol is an aphrodisiac. However, regular and excessive alcohol consumption can lead to difficulties in getting and maintaining erections in males and reduced lubrication in females. Lay off those Smirnoff and Old Monk bottles in your liquor cabinet. Stop your heavy boozing!


Relationship problems

Unresolved conflicts, lack of communication with your partner, constant nagging and bickering, anger issues, emotional battering, major tiffs and financial clashes can dampen the sexual urge. Resolve the ruckus with your partner, then you can settle for a steamy passionate session instead.



Are you on any medications? Antidepressants? Diabetic drugs? Anti-seizure medications? Antihistamines? Blood pressure medicines? Some drugs do improve sex life, but not these ones. With too much pill popping, your passionate moves will be dormant. If you have no choice but to take these medications, consult your physician about how to counteract their libido-killing side effects. It could be a matter of popping just one more pill – Viagra.


Lack of physical ability

Do you have a physical handicap? Or pain related conditions such as arthritis? Or a sexual dysfunction? Have you experienced vaginal dryness, or undergone a hysterectomy? These conditions can explain loss of libido. Also, females who have undergone breast cancer surgery may report lower interest in lovemaking. Again, work with your doctor for solutions.



How old are you? Forties? Fifties? Sixties? The older you are, you fantasize less. A gradual decline in the libido with advancing age is normal for all men and women. Menopausal women are likely to experience a lower interest in sexual activity. But don’t let age interfere with your love life. You can still enjoy cuddling and intimacy with your significant other on an entirely different plane. And you don’t have to be a spring chicken for one thing to lead to another. And remember, your most important sex organ is your brain. You’re never too old to have it titillated.


Lack of sleep

Tossing and turning in bed every night? Do you get your quota of 8 hours of healthy sleep? Loss of adequate sleep can mess up your whole life. In addition to causing irritability, weight loss, increase in accidents, sheer exhaustion, higher risk of heart diseases, it can lead to a sexual slump and create a relationship ruckus with your sweetheart. Get your circadian rhythms in order! When you’re sleeping with somebody else, it’s OK to mean it literally.