Dear Acaricia May, stomach
I love my girlfriend very much, but really want to have a threesome with her and a female friend of hers. I haven’t told my girlfriend anything yet, because I’m scared she’ll get upset over it and leave me. What should I do?
Try floating a trial balloon. Talk about threesomes in the third person – you know, about some other people who’ve engaged in it – and see how she reacts. If she finds the thought disgusting, sick and demented, then take that as as a sign not to proceed. If, on the other hand, she expresses interest or curiosity, then you could ask, “would you ever do anything like that?” Chances are at this point she might ask you to state your position on the matter first. And yes, if you blurt out the truth you do risk a slap in the face. So keep finessing it until she reveals her true feeling. Maybe say, “I’m not really sure if I’d do it. I guess it all depends on whether you’d do it with me.” (Granted, even that could elicit a face slap!) What I’m saying Sajeet, is that there are ways to explore this through something of a verbal dance. Be prepared for a red stop light at the outset though. And in this case, if you truly love her you will accept that a threesome is not to be.
Dear Acaricia May, I’m 25 years old and I’m still a virgin. I have a really active social life and there are lots of girls I really like. I’m the only one of my friends who still hasn’t done it, and at times I feel like the only virgin in the world. My friends always talk about their exploits, and it’s starting to make me feel uncomfortable. My closest friends know that I haven’t done it yet, and they sometimes joke about it, which makes me feel even more weird. There have been quite a few times I could have had sex, but for whatever reason I didn’t go through with it. Maybe it wasn’t the right time, or the right person. Maybe it has something to do with my religion or my upbringing. Do you think I’m too old to be a virgin?
Dear Rajiv, No I do not think you’re too old. You will know when the time is right, and that time is different for all of us. Live your life as you see fit. Worry not what others think. Eventually you will find the right time and the right person. And when you do, I know you will savour the joy of love.
If you have questions about sex, relationships or any other matter relating to the heart, please write to Acaricia May at firstname.lastname@example.org