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Keeping tabs on him

Dear Acaricia May,


My husband travels a lot within Goa, and often doesn’t come home for days. He says that he has to keep late hours because of work and sometimes has to stay overnight at the places he visits. I know he is working, but I keep telling him to call me up and tell me where he is.

He doesn’t like me asking for this. He says it restricts his independence and that I should trust that he is safe and sound. I am told that his mother used to pester him on his whereabouts during his school and college days, and maybe I remind him of her. But if I don’t know where he is, I can’t sleep, worrying over whether he has met with an accident or something. How do I convince him to keep me informed?  It’s just one phone call that I am asking for!


MF -Mapusa



Dear MF,


Every marriage and every person is different. Some value space and independence more than others. And space and independence can be downright healthy for relationships. Usually, however, marriage does involve sacrificing at least some of it – if only for the sake of basic courtesy. A simple phone call or sms to keep you from worrying and enabling you to sleep peacefully is not too much to ask. You are not asking your husband not to stay out. You are asking him to keep you informed. You can tell him Acaricia May says that’s fair enough. (By the way, what exactly IS he doing when he goes away for DAYS? A question well worth exploring further).


If all else fails, I suggest giving Mr.  Sleep Away a taste of his own medicine. Book a hotel room for yourself or spend the night at a friend’s place. And don’t call.


Acaricia May

Dear Acaricia


I am a 32-year-old man, happily married to an attractive woman. I love women in Western attire, especially when they sport a little cleavage. I would like my wife to occasionally wear a slightly low cut top or dress (not too much!). She would really look gorgeous to me, it would be a great turn on. But if I actually ask her to wear a dress like that, she may think I’m a pervert. How do I tell her to do this for me?


Gary – Panjim


Dear Gary,


You have made my job quite easy by writing the script! Here’s what you say: “Darling, I am so happy to be married to you and you are such an attractive woman. I think you’d look really nice in a top or dress that’s just slightly low cut, without being too much, of course. You would really look gorgeous to me and it would be a great turn on!”

The words are yours, Gary. You’ve written them to me. Now say them to her! (You might also ask her what turns HER on and return the favour).


Acaricia May


If you have questions about sex, relationships or any other matter relating to the heart, please write to Acaricia May at