Dear Acaricia May,
I spent the first 18 years of my life in Canada but moved to Goa a couple of years ago with my parents, who are Goan. I feel very lucky to have a really nice Goan girlfriend who’s very pretty, very nice and very smart. I had a few girlfriends back in Canada, but she’s much more special to me than any of them. The problem is that I’m used to holding hands, kissing, hugging and just being cozy with girls, even in public. We always called it PDA – public display of affection. My girlfriend here hates when I do it and pulls away. She even gets mad when I touch her in public, let alone kiss or hug her. I don’t like this, because it makes me feel very restricted, and it makes me miss the freedom of Canada. And even here in Goa, you do see other couples touching each other. How do I make her understand there’s nothing wrong with this?
Signed,
Joe in Panjim
Dear Joe,
When in Rome, do as the Romans my son. True, there’s some PDA happening here, but not nearly on the scale of Canada. On the scale between heavy PDA and a strict hands-off approach, perhaps your lady does tilt toward the latter. But in the social context of Goa, you can’t really blame her. Perhaps you could reserve your touchyfeeliness for settings like the beach, and be content with cozying up just in private. In the end, you can still be free without sucking face on the street. Be sure to enjoy each other and all the great things Goa does have to offer!
Love,
Acaricia May
Dear Acaricia May,
My ex-boyfriend is back in the picture. I had decided to finally let him go last year. He had been putting the final touches on his divorce to his crazy-witch wife, a marriage I had tolerated for over three years. I always despised being the other woman. I thought it was finally our time. But when it was all said and done he said he still wasn’t sure about us. I felt used. I was heartbroken and vowed to never take him back. It wasn’t the first time he did this and I know there were other girls during those painful years of us sneaking around behind her back. Now that his ex-wife has moved on, he suddenly realises I was the one for him all along? I should have slapped him and slammed the door. But he sounded so sorry. We had one crazy night and now he wants to marry me! My brain is telling me that everyone deserves a second chance, but my heart isn’t so sure. I can’t handle any more heartache from this man and I’m more scared than excited. What do I do?
Signed,
Kishora in Arpora
Dear Kishora,
I suppose it’s important to remember that this is a man who apparently didn’t have a problem cheating on the woman he was cheating for. If he cheated on his first wife, and on his mistress, there’s good reason to believe he’ll cheat on the mistress who becomes his wife. Face it Kishora. He’s a cheater! Ask yourself if you can live with that. If you cannot, move on!
Love,
Acaricia May
