Dear Acaricia May,
I’m 24 years old. I recently met a girl who I have a crush on. I’d like to tell her how I feel, but there’s a slight problem. I met her through a close friend of mine who’s been in love with me for a while. I know if I go ahead and confess my feelings, my friend is going to be heartbroken. I love being friends with her, I just can’t be her boyfriend. On the other hand, I really want the other girl to be my girlfriend. What do I do?
Thanks, Kurt (Caranzalem)
Twenty-four is a great age for friendship, for falling in love… and for getting your heart broken. Who among us has not had a broken heart? Your dilemma is understandable. I think you should do what your heart wants you to do – if you feel like asking her out, you should. Maybe she likes you back? Try getting to know her first, meet up casually, go out together and see how things develop.
On the other hand, if you feel very strongly about your relationship with your friend (which I think you do), you should explain things to her calmly. Perhaps she won’t understand where you’re coming from initially. She might feel hurt and cheated (and jealous of course; it’s only normal). But if your friendship is built on strong foundations, she will eventually end up being happy for you. Her heart will heal – they all do, with time and a little distraction.
Take care, Kurt. I wish you luck!
Love, Acaricia May
If you have questions about sex, relationships or any other matter relating to the heart, please write to Acaricia May at firstname.lastname@example.org.