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He won’t wear my ring

Dear Acaricia May


I have been married for over 22 years now, and one thing about my husband has always puzzled me. He is a very loving spouse, no rx takes good care of me and our kids and has a great sense of humour. But the thing that baffles me is that he simply refuses to wear his wedding ring. He wore it for a few months after we got married, and then stopped wearing it. He says he feels uncomfortable wearing it. He doesn’t wear any other rings either. For some months some years back, he even stopped wearing a watch! He doesn’t suffer from any skin allergy. Why does he not want to wear the wedding ring that I gave him? I always wear mine faithfully. Do you think he doesn’t want to be marked as unavailable or, worse yet, could he be having an affair?


Juanita, Mapusa.

Dear Juanita

A ring does not a relationship make. If he is a good man, he is worth his weight in gold, ring or no ring. Unless he’s given you other concrete reasons to doubt his faithfulness, perhaps the actual reason behind his no-ring policy could be more benign. Lots of people, have a phobia for rings or, for that matter, jewellery of any kind. Sufferers of this kind of claustrophobia can go to the extent of even avoiding crash helmets! Some persons irrationally worry that their fingers may start swelling up if they wear rings.

If you really feel strongly about this, however, you may want to choose the right moment and let him know. Don’t pick a time when you’re arguing or there’s tension in the air. Find a loving moment, perhaps when the two of you are cuddling in bed. The conversation could go something like this.

“Sweetie, I know you love me and I love you. But when you leave the house without your wedding ring – a symbol of our bond – it makes me feel you don’t want other women out there to think you’re married. I wear my wedding ring as a badge of honour, a sign for the whole world to see that I share my life with you. Could you do the same for me?”

Maybe that’ll do the trick and get that ring back on Mr. Naked Finger’s hand.

However, there’s something else you need to keep in mind, Juanita. A wedding ring does not guarantee a stray-free husband. In fact, lots of women out there are more attracted to men with wedding rings, especially those looking for a good time without major commitments.

Anyway, if it really is the ring he hates, you could try something else. How about a tattoo with your name? If you take this option, don’t put it on his forehead!


Acaricia May

If you have questions about love, relationships and sex, write to Acaricia May at