You were delightful, charming and sexy enough to GET her to marry you. Then what happened?

10 Things To Stop Doing Now If You Don’t Want Your Wife To Hate You

by Charlane Pereira e Rebello

You were delightful, charming, sexy, funny and attentive enough to GET her to marry you. But what happened after the knot was tied? Here is a list of MUST-NOT-DO items, prepared by psychologist Dr. Charlane Pereira e Rebello, if you’re interested in ensuring your life partner doesn’t hate your guts forever. It is never too late to rekindle the old feelings of love and romance. For starters, just stop being a first-class jerk. So, starting now, STOP:
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calling her names
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If you want to undermine her self-esteem and make her despise you in the process, by all means keep calling her “difficult” or “selfish” or “ridiculous” or “fat.” On second thought, go ahead and call her names, but make them wonderful ones. Try “sexy” or “fun” or “cute” or “gorgeous.” And even if she does weigh a hefty 100 kgs, instead of pointing it out, gift her a health club membership and get fit with her.

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being Mr. Stingy

? Stop whining about the wads of cash she spends on getting a trendier hair style, or the shoes she apparently loves more than you. Ask yourself, if you had you for a spouse, might you also prefer shoes? And here’s another question. Is all the tension caused by you moaning about her spending habits worth the strain on your relationship? And as long as we’re asking questions, here’s another: How much money have you saved by making her feel guilty about that occasional pampering at the salon? And one more: If you take into account the car and the watch and the TV and the drink and the gadgets of every kind, is she really spending that much more than YOU?

yelling at her

? You don’t like when she yells at you when you leave your dirty laundry lying on the bed or give a lame excuse not to mop the floor, so why assume the Man Nag is any less annoying? Instead of yelling at her for not cooking your favorite meal, try taking over the kitchen reins yourself and cooking your own Beef Chilly Fry or Chicken Cafreal. If you fail, then you’ll understand that it isn’t as easy as you think. If you succeed, you will be rewarded with a beaming smile and a wife who may just be in the mood to do something nice for you.

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breaking wind at meal time

? Prior to marriage, you were the charming suitor with flowers and a box of chocolates waiting at her door! And you hung on to your sphincter muscles as tightly as possible to avoid any foul emissions. Don’t stop exercising control now that you are married. You can give in to your loud gaseous poppers, but do so in the bathroom or at least not in the most inopportune moments. It is not funny especially when your beloved is taking a bite of that mouth-watering apple pie. Hang on or make a quick exit!

arguing in front of your kids

? You don’t need a shrink to tell you that unhappy families raise unhappy kids. And unhappy kids inevitably become unhappy adults. It could be a petty issue or a major disagreement. But if you need to fight, do it out of the ear shot of the children. And here’s an idea. Work out a code that is known only to you two indicating, “Not now. We will discuss later.” With any luck, you’ll both realize when the ‘later’ comes that the fight was too silly to be worth fighting in the first place.

badmouthing her to others

? If you don’t have anything nice to say about your wife, say nothing at all. Or better yet, search your soul to find something nice to say about the woman who decided it’s worth spending her life with you. Dude, the two of you are supposed to be a team. Build each other up. Love each other. Watch her back, and she’ll watch yours.

saying ‘No’ when she asks for your help

?From babysitting to banking, you must walk the walk, not just talk the talk. In 2014, men change diapers and clean showers and wash dishes and cook and look after their sick children and wives. Being a man is not a license to be a useless do-nothing at home. That’s not the world we live in now. So help out, gentlemen. And be a true knight-in-shining-armor.

discouraging your beloved

? Do you know what your wife’s dreams are? Do you care? Or are you too wrapped up in your own world?  News flash, male members of the human species: Your wife and your family IS your world. She has dreams and desires and ambitions just like you do. Nurture them.

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being a no-show hubbie

? Here’s a little uncomfortable secret you may not want to hear, but to heck with it, I’m going to shout it loud and clear. Our flawed society may condone absentee husbands, but that doesn’t make it acceptable. Does your work mean so much to you that you can’t spend a good moment with your family at home? I know so many wonderful, well-meaning men here in Goa who stay far away from home under the guise of “I’m the man”, ignoring all family responsibility and conveniently assuming that the needs of home and family are the strict purview of females. Shame on you, Goan men! You will be a stranger to your children. And your wife will resent you, too. There’s nothing manly about neglecting the people you cherish. Love, gentlemen. And be loved.

keeping her out of your life

?Life is a journey, and the two of you have vowed to walk it hand in hand. This woman by your side is your life partner and she wants to be a part of your existence – be it work, your friendships, your weaknesses, your habits, your fears, your dreams. She wants the whole of you! You need her support, encouragement and admiration. And she needs yours. She is a very special woman and she loves you more than you will ever know. Embrace the moment. Embrace her.

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