Satire: After the Alabama Museum of Natural History recently named a newly discovered freshwater fish ‘Etheostoma Obama, ’ after US president Barack Obama, the Goa government’s arts and culture department decided that it was time to follow suit.
In consultation with scientists at the Dona Paula-based National Institute of Oceanography and professors in the Marine Science division of the Goa University, the department came up with following names for Goan marine life, depending on the qualities they share with our revered leaders.
Ultimatus Parrikar, the Rawas. Also known as Indian Salmon. Because a rawas is a rare find, quite like Parrikar. Because as far as social hierarchy goes, it is elite amongst its peers, just like Parrikar, who belongs to the Gaud Saraswat Brahmins, a small but powerful clan. Because the rawas has a powerful tail flick, strong enough to even dislocate an elbow, if you have the fish on the hook. Because of the familiarity of Parrikar’s claims, just like rawas’ claim to be salmon when everyone knows it is not. Because as with Parrikar, people keep coming back to rawas regardless of their previous experience with it.
Carnivorus Alemao, the common shore crab. Because if ever there was a tenacious street fighter, Alemao is one. Because when a crab is hungry, it is willing to walk into just about any trap, oblivious of the dangers around it. Because it lies at the bottom of the sea bed, almost dead, while waiting for the right opportunity to make its move. Not unlike Alemao after his massive loss in the March election. Because the word crustacean seems to fit a guy with a hard shell on the outside, even if the tender inside happens to be missing in this case.
Dodgiatracus Kamat, the Eel. Simple. Because it is slippery.
Geriatrix Rane, the Swordfish, and Lethargus Rane, the jelly fish. The oceanography institute took the extraordinary step of naming two marine species after Rane. Because like the swordfish, with its sword-like snout, Rane, born in a warrior clan, knows a thing or two about swinging blades. The jelly fish pollutes the sea, stings you and serves little purpose. None of this applies to Rane, of course, but someone at the institute apparently disagreed.
DISCLAIMER: The article on this page is satire and is not in anyway factual. This is only a humorous and satirical take on the events unfolding around us. We do not in anyway intend to offend any individual or institution through our satires and regret any offence caused inadvertently.
