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Dear Acaricia May, there

I am a quiet 38-year-old house wife who’s been happily married for 14 years. My husband and I have three children and we don’t really have much to complain about. He has a good job and we have a good family life. I have a secret that I’ve never told anyone about other than my husband, sildenafil who I’ll call Savio (not his real name). When we make love, my favourite position has always been for me to be on top. It gives me more control and I like that I can adjust myself to get maximum pleasure. About five years ago Savio came home from a business trip to London with some “toys” and accessories he picked up at an adult store. These included garter stockings, a corset, thigh-high boots with stiletto heels, a suspender belt, ‘fluffy’ handcuffs and a leather riding crop.

Savio said he bought this stuff as a kind of joke, but one night when the kids were asleep he asked me if I’d like to put on my new outfit and use the handcuff and whip on him. Like I said, I’m a pretty quiet person but I think Savio, who’s always gotten kind of a kick out of the fact that I like to be on top, thought he’d take it to the next level. At first the whole thing seemed really strange and I didn’t get too much into it. But by the third time we tried it, I started really to like it. Funnily enough, I think I like it more than he does.

For him it’s pretty much remained a joke, and I think he does it because he knows it turns me on. We now do this every few weeks. Unfortunately, the last time we did it – about a week ago – our eight-year-old son woke up, got out of bed and found a way to open the door (I thought I had locked it) while I was standing over Savio, calling him a dog and a slave, and whipping him with my riding crop. Thank heavens we were both more or less dressed. “Mommy, what are you doing to Daddy?” said our little guy. We smoothed it over as best we could by saying we’re playing a game. But having him come in like that started to make me self-conscious about this little hobby of mine. And sometimes I think this makes me a very strange person. Do you think there’s anything wrong with me? And do you think we might have done anything that could hurt our son?

Linda (not my real name)

Dear Linda,

I do not think there’s anything wrong with you! You have a fetish. You like playing the role of a dominatrix, or mistress. Lots of women around the world do this professionally, often charging for it, usually to satisfy a male fantasy of being dominated by a strong and sexy woman. Some women, like yourself, play the role in their private lives as a form of recreation. Sadomasochism is a common sexual fantasy for both sexes. Sometimes quiet people are especially attracted to it, because it gives them the opportunity and the thrill of being able to act out a more aggressive persona. If you like it and Savio comes along as an enthusiastic participant (sounds like you got yourself a great guy, by the way!), then by all means keep it up and enjoy. As for the little guy, I think you did the right thing. Don’t make a big deal. Call it a game. Move on. You’ll be OK, and so will he.

Love,

Acaricia May

Send all your questions about sex, relationships, love and romance to Acaricia May at acariciamay@goastreets.in.

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