Dear Acaricia May, online
My father and I run a store in south Goa. Recently, treatment we hired a young salesgirl and I have found myself attracted to her. She doesn’t know anything. And my father doesn’t suspect anything either. I don’t want to be attracted to her, we’re of different communities, status, all of that, yet I can’t help myself. Please teach me to fall out of love. I’m desperate… and married!
Let me let you in on a little secret. A marriage certificate does not suppress human hormones. A wedding ring does not shut down your bodily functions. Marriage does not stop the flow of blood in your veins. You see, John, it’s completely normal to feel attractions to all sorts of different people as you go through life. The question is will you ACT on those attractions. If you ensure the attraction remains just that, an attraction, then really there is no harm. If you do act on the attraction and get together with this young lady, then, of course, you will be cheating on your spouse. You certainly wouldn’t be the first, and only you can decide whether that’s where you want to be in life. You did, John, mention the word ‘love,’ and I couldn’t tell whether you meant that as a sort of turn of phrase or if you really do ‘love’ this girl. Do keep in mind there’s a difference between love and lust, and you can feel attracted without being in love. If you love your wife and want to remain faithful to her, then the choice seems obvious. Learn to live with this attraction and do not act on it. Or else fire the salesgirl. If you do that, you will have to ask yourself two questions: Is it her fault that I’m a horn dog in her presence? How much unemployment am I willing to cause because of my libido? My advice: try channelling these hot feelings into a spiced up love life with the lady who said, “I do.”
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